In out

I press my face against the glass
I feel the coolness fade as my breath touches it.
In out in out in out in
I hold it this time wanting the last of the coolness to exist......out
I watch you walk down the street and my breath comes faster.
In out in out in out in out in
You catch me watching you. You stare at me.
I press first my hand, then body, then my mouth against the glass.....out
My skin has taken on a life of it's own.
The thought of you touching me has it breathing
In out in out in out in
You break our stare and begin to walk away again.
All I can do is watch you walk.......out

To Him

When I see you it reminds me of everything that we could have been. I have loved you forever and it took you forever to realize you feel the same and yet we remain apart. Our timing has always been off, maybe there is a reason for that. It doesn’t make the hurt any less, the longing I have had for you is still here and I don’t think even time can change that. I miss you more than you will ever know, and I will love you always!

Breath

I can't stand this.
I am spinning wondering which round hole my square peg fits into.
I want to be.....I want to be.....
I want.
Never fulfilled, scared to try.
Tired of being who I am.
Tired of not knowing who I am.
Tired of wondering if this is who I am.
Tired of......being tired.
Laughing makes it better.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Did you laugh with me....or at me?
Face the world. Happy face to mask the tears.
I feel so deeply yet I am completely shallow.
I can't stand this.
I am spinning wondering which round hole my square peg fits into.
I want to be.....I want to be.....
I want.......to breath.

It Stings

Always running.
Always searching.
Never finding. Truly.

I saw you.
High speed connection.
It was real. To me.

Told you my secrets.
My fears.
My dreams.
Gave you my trust.
I was dumb.

And I cried.
I thought you cared.
You reached out.
I thought you would wipe my tears.
Instead you slapped me.
Turned your back on me.

No explanation.
No reason.
No good bye.
No nothing.
Just an empty space where you were.

I hate you.

It Stings.

Past Present Future

The here and now is broken
The present fractured, held together with threads of complacency
Strands of fear.
A weakened heart prevents changes.

Visions of a past came through
Memories made real
But the past is only a shadow in those memories
Reality proved that the future is not dictated;
Events are created by brave hearts
And determined minds.

The shadows of a past have a cast light
And proved that the future is not always as expected.
Some present times are more real than the memories
That created them.

The envisioned future is changed
Hearts are shattered
Expectations now mere memories of what was once a future

A new future is ahead, unknown and unsure
Maybe to be broken but on present terms
Not with the past and with a brave heart.

Memories will always live with us
Always be remembered
Never as big and shiny as the here and now.

The good times are how we live
How we feel and how we reach forward
Whatever pain and cost creates the future
It is on the present terms, not the past.